What's Your Type?

Finding the right therapist can be a daunting endeavor. I've known many a friend and client who put it off for months, or even years, because the stress to find "the one" was too much. You can't spill your guts and re-chart your entire destiny with just anyone. Nor should you.

Sometimes it takes kissing a few frogs to find your one true therapist. But don't lose heart. As with any great love story, research is the key to kismet. Here are some things to consider, as you poke around for the right fit:

1. What's the therapist's approach & does it resonate for you?

   1. Do they dig around the past or are they rooted in the here & now?

   2. Are they into tools, exercises & homework? Are you?

   3. Do they tend to focus on what worked or what went wrong?

   4. Are they the silent type or is therapy a conversation?

   5. Do they lean towards the cerebral or emotional?

   6. Are they more likely to call you on your B.S. or love you through it?

   7. Are they a purist with one theoretical orientation or do they tailor to the client?

2. Do they offer an initial consultation? This makes it a bit easier to get a sense of their approach and general vibe.

3. Do they specialize in an area that feels, to you, particularly ripe for resolve?

4. Do they practice near you? Let's be honest, driving in LA can ruin perfectly perfect relationships. Driving across town can be a hindrance to staying committed. But if Telehealth is your jam - and it's offered - you might just be able to make that long distance thing work.

You may not know what you want, and that is OK. Sometimes it takes meeting several therapists and then relying on your gut instinct to make the final call. How did you feel when you talked with the therapist? Maybe they made you laugh, in your initial conversation, and you realized you needed to be on the ride with someone who has a sense of humor? Or they posed a question that sparked a revelation? Or their eyes softened in a way that made you feel safe to unleash the messy? A small sign can offer huge insight.

When you pick your person, it might be helpful to remember that relationships grow. What it is on day one, won't be what it is in 6 weeks or six months. And, just because you decide to give it a go, doesn't mean you're committed for life. You have the power to make a different choice, at any time. The therapeutic relationship should feel safe, even if the work is uncomfortable.

Finding the right fit might require a leap of faith - but it's your leap to what's next.